LVM Kayaks: The Next Big Thing

Paradigms exist to be shattered. Dreams exist to be Crushed. LVM Kayaks exists to do both. Welcome to the next level.

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Attain the previously untouchable realm of running larger waterfalls and even those that land on rock. Imagine being able to glide out past obstacles in your landing zone, or even take to flight on a really fast slide. 7 years of R&D and extensive testing of this new accessory have finally come to fruition in the form of one of the most useful innovations to hit the kayaking world in years.
Airplane grade Carbon Composite WingStays (TM) lie poised, ready to deploy as soon as you pull the trigger in your Huckin Hood(TM). As soon as you do, these babies unfold and expose their mylar/kevlar/carbon/kevlar/mylar (that’s 5 layers) laminate sails to the zephyrs which will carry you safely to your landing zone. Using a high pressure nitrogen deploy valve, these wings are guaranteed to deploy in 1/4sec as soon as you pull the trigger. Pull back on your OSH’s while tucked safely behind your HuckinHood(TM) and fly yourself to safety. The only question that remains is “How big and fast are you willing to go?”

If this “accessory” isn’t enough to tip you off that this kayak exists only in our dreams than we don’t know what will. Although we eat, drink and sleep whitewater our focus is on making kayaking videos, not kayaks. For over 30 issues now we have delivered the latest and greatest kayaking videos to our subscribers doors. NOW FOR 2010 LVM IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE WE WILL OFFER THE OPTION OF A BLU-RAY HD SUBSCRIPTION. That’s right more clarity, better sound, hidden menu options all delivered right to your doorstep. We are the first in our industry to offer this service, and will begin producing HD content in issue #34, our first of 2010, at no extra charge to renewing subscribers. So if you aren’t a subscriber, now is the time. Subscribe Here. Stay tuned as we provide all the details for pricing, content submissions and new contests for 2010. As well come back here for full coverage of the 2010 Outdoor Retailer Show next week.

Now to answer some of our recent comments:
We are not racist, the name Sambo is from a Russian Martial Arts Style.
We offer the best warranty in the business, if any DVD we ship you doesn’t work we will replace for free. As for warranting kayaks well lets just say that is one reason we are in the video production business.
The green color really is nice!
LVM, helping to spread the whitewater love now in HD!

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One Response to “LVM Kayaks: The Next Big Thing”

  1. Alex Nall Says:

    OK you guys got me…aholes!

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